I got a lot of positive feedback from my last post.
Apparently you all like reading about the (sometimes non-conventional) ways with which I try to use Facebook to initiate conversations, especially when the initiation is so outlandish that there is almost zero chance of actually having a reasonable conversation.
Today, I sent a Facebook message that I immediately regretted. Naturally, I thought I share it with you…
But first, a little background:
- Last night, I met a girl (Katie) for the less-than-10th time.
- She’s friends with one of my close childhood friends (Lacie).
- Katie and I talked for 30-ish minutes.
I tried to look her up on Facebook today by going through all of Lacie’s friends named Katie but there were five Katies with very small, hard to see pictures so I couldn’t be sure which one she was.
So today, I sent the following Facebook message to five girls named Katie.
(For reading purposes, I suggest you play along as if it were sent to you.)
A picture is worth a thousand words…
…most of the time.
In the case of your Facebook picture though, I’m not sure it is.
It’s really small and I’m actually not even sure if you’re the friend of Lacie’s named Katie that I’ve met a couple of times including last night. If you’re not, feel free to calmly dismiss this message and ignore the Facebook invitation. I won’t be offended at all.
In fact, I sent this same exact message to five other of Lacie’s friends who are also named Katie.
So if you’re not the one, please stop reading now.
Looks like you’re the one. That’s great news. I’m glad I found you.
I feel like I went through a lot (arguably too much) trouble to find you. But I’ll let you determine that…
…via a little game.
1. Do you think that I went to too much trouble to find you?
a) Yes (go to #2)
b) No (go to #3)
2. Do you regret reading a Facebook message that’s this long?
a) Yes (go to #4)
b) No (go to #5)
3. Have you ever gone through this much trouble to find someone on Facebook before?
a) Yes (go to #6)
b) No (go to #7)
4. That’s completely reasonable. I wouldn’t even consider reading this much if I were you. Thanks for playing along, you really shouldn’t have. I’ll see you around.
5. Wow, that’s impressive. What were you doing that was so miserable that you’d waste your time reading something like this?
a) I was in class (go to #8)
b) I was doing homework and needed a break (go to #9)
c) I love Facebook and wouldn’t dream of not reading every word of a message (go to #10)
6. You must have really needed to find that person. Why did you need to find him/her?
a) I needed help with a homework assignment (go to #11)
b) I fell in love at first sight and had to find the guy (go to #12)
7. Thank god, it’s a complete waste of time. If I didn’t have an hour to kill between my two classes on Wednesday, I wouldn’t dream of doing something like this. Surprisingly though, it’s been pretty fun. I hope you (at least marginally) enjoyed this. Have a good one.
8. Wow, class must have been incredibly boring. I hope this made it a little more entertaining. Hey, at least you didn’t fall asleep. If class hasn’t ended yet or you’re bored later on in the semester, go to #13.
9. I promise you, you should have spent your break doing something (anything) else. If for some reason you found this in the slightest way entertaining, go to #13.
10. I too love Facebook (ex. this absurdly unnecessary message). Have you ever written anything like this before?
a) No (go to #14)
b) Yes (go to #16)
11. Well I hope you got the help you needed. I still think there was probably an easier way to get it but I admire your resolve. I hope you’re not furious with me for wasting your time and maybe I’ll see you around.
12. Did it work out?
a) Yes (go to #15)
b) No (go to #16)
13. I keep a blog and while it’s not going to enlighten you in any way, you might find it interesting particularly since you’re the main topic in a recent post. Feel free to check it out. (alexpomer.blogspot.com)
14. That’s incredible news. No one in his/her right mind would ever write something like this. It’s good to hear that you’re a reasonable person. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.
15. That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you and wish you the best of luck. See you around.
16. Will you marry me?
a) No (go to #17)
b) Yes (go to #18)
17. Good choice. I wouldn’t marry me either. Maybe I’ll see you around.
18. To confirm, please reply to this message with the subject line, “I do”.
Let me know where you ended,
P.S. No, I wasn’t lying in the first paragraph. Your picture was only worth 687 words.
You’re probably thinking, Why?
Well I’ll tell you Why…
(Go to #7)